This article appeared in myBrightHorizons and has been published here with permission.
You know the relief of finally getting a handle on the rhythm of the school year – that feeling that usually comes around early November, just after parent-teacher conferences and Halloween?
It doesn’t last very long.
That’s because just as you’ve got things all figured out, along comes the holiday season. Then there are school days off to survive and parties to plan and recitals to attend and cookie swaps to bake for. “It’s why we do a tremendous amount of finding nannies and sitters during the holiday period,” says Laura Davis, a nanny concierge for Jovie, a company that sources in-home child care for parents. “A lot of people who already have nannies are depending on them more.”
A great nanny or sitter can indeed be magical this time of year. But there are rules to making the relationship sing.
We sat down with Laura for a Q&A on how to find help during the holidays, what a nanny or sitter can do, and what you want to avoid.
Bright Horizons: Can I really find help just for the holidays?
Laura Davis: You definitely can. A lot of people call us up to say they’re going to need additional support from Thanksgiving through winter break. We do a tremendous amount of that; not finding forever nannies; but matching people with holiday sitters for that period. People who already have a nanny may communicate that they’re going to need extra hours for those roughly six weeks.
BH: What can I expect from a nanny or short-term sitter around the holidays?
LD: Responsibilities fall into two buckets. There are the more “nanny-ish” jobs related to children and their activities, and then there are the more family assistant duties related to the parent. Extra nanny-ish jobs may include taking the kids gift shopping, wrapping gifts, or baking with them. They might help kids get involved with volunteer opportunities or support end-of-semester homework assignments for older kids. Family assistant jobs may include helping with stuffing holiday cards, planning parties, or even packing and doing some planning for an upcoming vacation.
BH: Can I ask for help with any of those things?
LD: You can, but you need to first be mindful of the job you hired them for, and then you need to have candid conversations about any expectations that might fall outside the lines. So if you’ve hired a sitter to help with the kids, you don’t want to slide in family assistant jobs without talking about it first. Set expectations early and ask if you plan to make any changes.
BH: Can you give me an example?
LD: Things related to housekeeping and cleaning can get sticky. Let’s say you’re having a party and you need some help tidying. It might be ok to ask the sitter to do a quick run through of the powder room on the first floor. But you don’t want to tell them to start changing sheets in the guest rooms or to take a deeper dive into cleaning the entire house. Those kinds of tasks are typically a “no.” And that can quickly cause resentment.
BH: Speaking of parties; can I ask a nanny (or sitter) to watch guests’ kids for a holiday party I’m planning?
LD: You can, but within reason. If you’ve got your kids and maybe one or two others, that’s fine. But you don’t want to assume a single caregiver can take care of 12 neighborhood kids. Even one with that many kids is just playing defense – she can’t engage the kids in any meaningful way. Plus, if things get out of hand, you’ll need the parents to be in the room. And then you’ve sabotaged your whole objective of having the children cared for at the party. To set them up for success, you want to have the right amount of care for the right amount of kids. At Jovie, we can help determine the right amount of care based on number of kiddos and their ages.
BH: What’s the most important piece of advice you can give me?
LD: Set expectations early. If you’ve got an existing nanny, talk well before the holiday season about any changes to their schedule. If you’re bringing in someone for the period, make sure the job description is clear. What you don’t want is a dramatic shift in what you’re asking. Because that’s where the, “Gosh they’re taking advantage of me” or “This isn’t what I signed up for” feelings happen. Having a discussion makes it agreeable to both partners.
Ready to hire a nanny?
Or maybe you just need a short-term babysitter for the season? Jovie can help you find the holiday or the year-round help you need.
